| 09.10.2002-11:56 pm
I want to scream at the world and tell them to leave me alone. It seems like everyone is out to get me and all I want to do is crawl into a hole and just die. And I just can�t find anyone to talk too or anyone who will listen to me. I�m screaming for help, the only help I want is a shoulder of someone who will listen to me just for a short while. I wont take up much of your time just a short time. I�m alone and I hate being alone. My best friend has turned her back upon me. And I hate that! People are asking things of me I can�t give what they want. Not yet any ways. I will though I will. I want to throw myself upon god�s feet and ask for forgiveness and make him take this pain away from me. But god can�t help me. He knows that I don�t have any faith in him. I lost faith in him, when I discovered that no matter how hard I prayed or how much I believed in him none of my prayers ever came true. The only thing I pray for now is for sanity, or for a speeding bus to take my life. I�m looking up to you now god. If there is a god you�ll help me now. I�m doing something that I�ve never done to you before. I�m praying to you with tears in my eyes. I�m praying hard god. The tears are burning my eyes. Save me God. Just save me from this world and make me feel no pain. Yes god this is I pleading. Pleading for you to actually save me. Save me. Make me believe. Show me you are real. So tonight when I close my eyes the last thing I want to ever see again is the ceiling. |