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06.28.2002-2:33 am

Yes this is my second entry of the day.

This is going to be one of those entries that I will regret posting. Why? Because this exactly who I am and for just this once I�m not ashamed to hide it. This is going to be one of those entries that I speak the truth about myself. No I have not lied once in this diary but yet I have shied away from saying anything that would make me feel ashamed of myself.

Well I went back and looked at my first online diary, Jennx. And I realized how much I�ve changed. The first time I ever wrote was 8-31-2000. Almost two years ago in August. Getting an online diary has changed my life in many ways. I cannot tell you how much it has changed my life. I have to admit it has changed my life for the better. But any ways I�ve been reading my old entries and I�m just amazed at myself and how immature I was than. I also wrote long entries when I had Jennx. And than I had eveninghaze which well I got smart (fuck) and deleted all my entries. And then there was Jadedpill which was a bunch of bullshit. I was on crack for sure. Sinfulchild was near there. and than once again I was on crack. Soon enough adskinner followed and surely enough I have stumbled upon the one I write in now. Why do I mention these now? Because it has made me realize how much of a game my life has been over the past two years. And how much a person can change within two years. Jumping from Jennx to Iamperfect has been such a change for me. I have to say that I�ve never been happier as a person than I am now. If I could wipe away every bump in the road I wouldn�t be as strong as a person as I am today. You know this isn�t really where I wanted this entry to go. What I really wanted to talk about was my sexuality.

What is my sexuality? There are three types, straight, gay or bi. I have to say I fit in the class called straight. Yes there has been some sort of controversy over the past year and half but it is all straighten out now. I am not ashamed to admit that I am straight and always have been.

Did you know three years ago I wanted to die? Yes I wanted to die so badly. Yet I didn�t. I managed to find something that I was good at. I found that I could write. Not my thoughts but I found that writing was something I enjoyed. But why did I really want to die was I felt alone. A new school, new people it was hard. But I managed and I coupe and 3 years later I�m still here and well and happy. And I�m still writing.

I was 15 when I moved here I am now 18. I�ve graduated from High School just this past May and now I�m off to college. I�m going to become a Psychiatrist and maybe find my way into Law school down the road. I�m now reading up on getting my motorcycle licenses this winter, as well as getting an apartment next summer. Future goals are to keep a steady relationship, one where I don�t have to tie a knot around my throat and fling myself out a window.

Actually this entry still didn�t go where I wanted it to go. OH well maybe some other time. Well actually it has. It has shown how much I have matured over the past two years as a person. And how I�ve become a whole person.